My own family

My life changed drastically during the past two years, not just by losing family members, but by happy occasions of gaining new ones too. I became a wife; I became a mother; I yet again became an aunt. So many beautiful things happened and sadly life got in the way of truly celebrating these life changing events.  I am glad I finally found my partner and finally my dream of becoming a mother became true. I am blessed. Every morning my son gives me the most beautiful smiles. He reminds me it is a new day and anything is possible. After a day's work, his smile is all we need to take away our tiredness and give us energy to carry on. Thank you universe for lining up all the stars and giving us our healthy small family. Thank you my family for all I have learned from you. Love and motherhood is the most amazing life experience of all; The one that makes you feel truly vulnerable and strong at the same time. May we be able to protect and grow this angel that is trusted with us.

Let this blog reflect all the joy I have experienced and lessons I have learned as  a result too! I have a lot to catch up with.

Peace at last

Once upon a time I used to write here. I would reflect on any interesting, small or big event or problem, analyze it, or just record it for my memory. I used to find it therapeutic. After some point, the events and issues got so big, so overwhelming, so unbelievable to grasp and understand, that I gave up.  I guess Americans say that is when shit hits the fan.  Over the years I struggled trying to figure out how I could be of any help and support to my oldest brother. He always was struggling with one crisis or another, refusing to acknowledge and treat the root cause of all his sorrows. Situation went from bad to worse to worst, emotionally, financially, and finally physically beyond anything anyone could do. I lost a brother to stage four lung cancer. But worst than that I lost a brother I could not save, I could not help, no matter what I and people close to me tried to do. Smoking is the symptom of what killed him. The issues that made him smoke so heavily everyday for many years were the real killer, but of course we feel better blaming cigarettes.  May you rest in peace my brother; may you forgive us for all we could not or would not do for you.  May we find peace with ourselves.

New beginnings

2014 started as a painful sad year for me, with the loss of my father, and proved to be the most eventful year of my life.  Despite the saddest start, I had major positive personal changes in my life too.  So many stories are left untold, and I deeply miss writing and reflecting on my thoughts and life.

It is time to catch up... to write more and learn more.  Here is hoping I find the time and energy.

Blind Spots

We were on a telcon discussing the agenda for an upcoming meeting.  The speaker says: "Mr. X won't be able to attend the meeting because his wife is having a baby at that time".

What a way of saying he is becoming a father! Is not he having a baby as well?  He says as if it is a significant event in the wife's life only and he is staying as a favor or service to her not because he does not want to miss his child's birth.

Is it me or does this phrasing sound strange to you too?

Vision

I am frustrated these days a lot about many things;  How leaders at highest levels work in survival mode, sustaining the status quo.  Those whose job is to have a vision and strategic plan, lack both.  When asked about it, there is no response; Worse, you hear the inaction at times might be by design.  Some people may think of retiring, finally.  Some may quit to find better opportunities.  Even if so, these leaders do not think what their organizations will be known for?  What values will it stand for? What repetition and respect will it have in public eyes?  Will the youth of today consider working for it tomorrow? Will it even exist tomorrow if they persist in their approaches?

Good writers

I think being a good writer and speaker, has more to do with having something of value to say and share, than it does with writing and speaking skills.

Friends

I think I have been depressed lately. For the first time, I think I really felt for people who had gone through this. I could see and feel how draining it can be. How hard it can get to do the most simple daily tasks. Me, who was full of life and passion, find it hard to put myself together and do my job. I find myself procrastinating.  It takes forever to finish a few charts.

 -"It is hard to focus and get things done these days", I told an old friend and colleague that I admire a lot.
 -"You will have better days gradually. It takes at least 6 months to a year to even get used to the idea of loss".
 I nodded.

 A couple of days ago, I found myself talking and laughing, surrounded by old and new friends in a short casual get-together. Maybe I can get back to my old self. That is what getting out of your routine, good friends and people do. They bring you out of your shell, remind yourself to you, bring you glimpses of hope. Maybe I will be all right again.