Preface: Let it be noted that now we are living
through the longest government shutdown in the U.S. history. Finally,
after weeks of not working, becoming a house wife, and caring for my son
every day due to his preschool's closure, I realize I actually have
time and the mental capacity and energy to once again reflect more on my
life, and to perhaps actually write! Anyways, I found this in my old
drafts. The topic in question is still in back of my mind and worthy of
reflections, thoughts, and learning more about.
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I
have been struggling with a philosophical question for years. I have a
difficult time deciding or finding what the right answer is. The topic
is related to dealing with difficult people. These days there are so
many sites, TV and radio programs, books, forums, etc. run by
psychologists discussing different topics and answering many questions.
Often times, when someone in a bad relationship calls, having to deal
with a difficult or troubled spouse, child, or sibling, the question
comes up whether that person knows s/he needs professional help. If the
answer is yes, then they ask if s/he is willing to seek that help, and
then often times if the answer is no, one is advised to cut off ties
with the troubled person.
There may be many reasons
for someone yelling, not being able to manage their anger, being easily
irritated, or being too sensitive: thyroid hormones not being in normal
range, pms, postpartum depression, or simply depression, stress,
anxiety, etc.
If hormones are not balanced, isn't the
difficult person a victim and patient him/herself? Is it fair or right
to hold them accountable for their actions and at the times they are
weak, and to want them not only to have the will and energy to seek help
but also to fix things? Is not expecting a depressed or in general
severely ill person to take responsibility for his/her own health like
expecting a car with flat tires or burned engine to drive itself to
mechanic shop, seek help, pay for help, and return well?
How
much those suffering from actions of these troubled and difficult
individuals are responsible for not helping them get the much needed
help and to go through with any treatments such as therapy sessions or
taking antidepressants, etc? Especially if that person does not welcome
the suggestions and refuses to act on them?
Who is to
blame? To what extent are we responsible for well being of our adult loved
ones, when they refuse help, be it medical, mental, or financial? If we
are passing the responsibility to the person who is supposed to seek
help, how much in reality can that person be held accountable for their
actions if they are deficient in some hormones, vitamins, wisdom or
simply lacking a healthy balance in their bodies or minds?
Thursday, January 17, 2019
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