Be right or happy? Do we have to choose?

"Whose side are you on?", "Do not take his/her side!", are commonly heard among lovers, friends, or family members, when one person has a different opinion or belief from the other one. There are many people who confuse love and support with being in agreement all the time, and I am not just talking about having different opinions about different topics. No, sometimes people want you to deny facts, pure logic, just to prove your love and support!

For example, if you know the meaning of a word that they think it means the exact opposite thing from what it really does, they want you to believe them. Even if in private, not in front of a crowd, you open the dictionary to teach them something new, they take it as a personal attack as opposed to you wanting them to know the correct meaning, not wanting them to be humiliated by using or understanding the word in its opposite meaning. They rather not know it than to learn it from you. They do not see it as a learning experience, rather you proving them wrong. There are other forms of support people seek in order for you to prove your love. They may not want you to socialize with a particular friend or family member just because they do not like him/her, or that they see them as a treat to the relationship they are having with you.

There are not that many people who make a stance for logic, truth, honesty, and doing what is right. What hurts is that often times a person knows they are taking a wrong or illogical stance, but they do it anyways to make the other person happy. As Dr. Phil says: "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?". I agree so many things are worthless to argue about, and after all life is too short to spend it arguing. But why do people have to lie, or act the way they do not approve of deep inside, to be happy? Who says there has to be a choice? Does it mean we cannot be our true selves and be happy in a relationship? Why cannot we be open to the idea of learning from each other and value growing in our relationships instead of thinking the other person is putting us down, or trying to prove us wrong just by knowing something we do not, or by having a different opinion? Why people have such big egos, and are always on the defensive side, taking everything as personal attacks?

Then, there are these rare jewels who respect logic, honesty, and doing the right thing. They are open to learning experiences and you learn a lot from them too. If you are lucky enough to have such people in your life, do not let go of them. I have a few, and chances are if you cannot get rid of me, you are one of those people. I thank you for giving hope to humanity!

اشتباه گرفتید!

در خانه عموی خدا بیامرز من، خانم اسپانیشی کار میکرد. یک بار تلفن رو گویا جواب داده بوده، و کسی‌ سراغ علی‌ که عموی من بوده باشه رو گرفته بوده. این خانم هم گفته بوده که شما شماره رو اشتباه گرفتید و اینجا چنین کسی‌ نداریم. بعد خانم عموی من که متوجه می‌شه، میگه چرا نداریم، خوب با شوهر من کار داشتند. این خانم اسپانیش هم میگه، نه اسم شوهر تو که علی‌ نیست، هیچ وقت به این اسم صداش نمیکنی‌. مگه اسمش "میگما" نیست؟ بله، از آنجایی که خانم عموی من همیشه با یک "میگما آا‌"ی کش دار شروع به حرف زدن با عموی من میکرد، اسم عموی من در ذهن این خانم اسپانیش، "میگما" بوده!

Our One and Only Earth!

Last winter:
Three back to back record breaking blizzards over the past hundred years.
Heating shelters for those without heaters across the cities.
Roof collapses.
Power outages.
Fallen trees.
Over a week of closed businesses and schools.
Millions of dollars of budget deficit for states because of snow removals.
Stuck ambulances, fire trucks, power repair personnel.

This summer, before the first month is over:
Three consecutive days of record breaking temperatures above 100 degrees.
Two consecutive water main breaks in the same city.
Amtrak slowing down the trains for fear of the rails reaching dangerously high temperatures that can affect the performance of the trains.
Cooling centers across the cities for people without air conditioning.

No, nothing is happening to our Earth.
There is no global warming,
No climate change,
Everything is safe and sound.
No need to recycle, conserve energy, turn off the extra lights,
In fact, we even afford to spill some oil over the ocean,
Maybe we manage to interrupt the ocean's natural current,
We will either freeze Europe,
Or raise the ocean's temperature here,
And have ourselves many more hurricanes.
Would not that be cool?

No worries, we are all safe and sound,
I just do not know what kind of Earth we will have,
Not for the next generations,
But for myself,
In the next year, and the one following that, and the next!

Tough Decisions!

There are times in our lives when we have to make some tough decisions. At least they seem tough at the time. Maybe because it is the first time we are encountering that situation. Maybe because we are asked to give up something precious to us, be it our time, money, job, location, doing something we enjoy, someone's company, etc. We wish we never had to be in a position to have to make such choices. We may go through all sorts of emotions, changing our minds back and forth about what we will end up doing. After it is all done and gone, in retrospective we may realize it was not really hard to decide. At the end, when it is only between our own selves, it seems like we almost always knew the answer: just do what is right. It is that simple. Do what is right to you, not what others want you to believe is right, or at least what you believe is right given all you know. If you think you do not have enough information to decipher right from wrong, start gathering information. Research. Then, do what you believe is right. Be willing to pay the price for doing the right thing. You know you won't be at peace with yourself if you do otherwise. You know you do not want to linger this state of suspense to the rest of your life, regretting what you did in the past, wondering what if you had done otherwise. Do what is right. It is that simple.

A Smiley Heart , Behind A Smiley Face!

It was a busy day, full of meetings. I hardly could sit and concentrate on doing work. We also had our annual community day, with different activities and festivities. The weather was a record breaking 100 degrees. I probably could not walk much even if I wanted. I saw a boot with a long line. People were waiting to get the autograph of an astronaut. I saw our secretary in line. "I have only 5 minutes till my next meeting", I said sadly to her. "I can get you an autograph if you like", she says. "Sure, thank you!", and I left happily.

Our secretary is in her early twenties. She takes care of all our administrative needs. She books our flights and hotels, takes care of their reimbursements, and fills out all sorts of forms for different things. Next week she is getting married. Some colleagues were planning to collect money to get her a gift.

I went and made my contribution and signed the card after my meeting. "Do you know what you are going to get her?", I asked the lady who was collecting the money. "I think we are just going to give her the cash", she replied. Then, she went on explaining how our secretary had told her she wanted to stay in a nice hotel on her wedding night but it was too expensive for her. It was heartbreaking. I felt so bad having given her the receipts for my most recent trip before she takes off for her wedding. I felt bad because she always does her best to make us happy, without any sad or negative feelings. You would have never guessed her situation from her positive attitude and always-smiley face. There I was staying at the nicest hotel for four nights for work and she could not afford to do so at her own wedding night. I could not resist increasing my contribution after hearing her sad story, wishing her her dream wedding night.

I was in these thoughts that my phone rang. "Hi, I got you that autograph you wanted, it is in your mailbox!". I go and pick it up. She even made him spell my unusual name. It tells me "Reach for your star!".

يك پروژه دشوار!

يك ماه از باز شدن استخر خونم گذشته و من هنوز نتونستم برم شنا. اول كارت عبورم نيومده بود. بعد از تماس با شركت مجتمع و رفع مشكل ادارى اومد. بعد من سفر بودم. آخر هفته قبل هم سرگرم فاميل و مسافر ها بودم. ديروز عزمم رو جزم كرده بودم كه حتما بعد از كار ميرم استخر. حتى لباس و حولم رو هم اماده گذاشته بودم كه وقتى از كار ميام معطل نشم. شانس ما ديروز بارون زد، چه بارونى. گفتم عيب نداره، فردا ميرم، كه امروز بوده باشه. از خونه خوشحال زدم بيرون و به سمت استخر قدم ميزدم كه يكى از همسايه ها رو ديدم و پرسيد: "دارى ميرى استخر؟." گفتم آره. گفت بستنش كه تميزش كنن، يك بچه مثل اينكه توش خرابكارى كرده. باورم نميشد. به قول يكى از دوستام اين قانون مرفيز هميشه پاچه مارو ميگيره. حالا تا فردا خدا بزرگه!

Border

It is an imaginary line,
Dividing a surface to two areas: A and B.
You may be considered a friend in one area and a foe in another.
Getting from A to B might be very different from getting from B to A.
As soon as you cross this imaginary line,
The main language may change,
The traditions, and many other things.

Humans made these imaginary lines.
They are called borders.
At least those are well defined, usually.
There are rules about them.
As long as you inquire about them,
And follow them,
You will be fine.

Humans are good at making these imaginary lines.
Most of them are invisible though.
You do not know the rules that applies to them.
There are many invisible borders for every single person.
As soon as you cross those lines,
Sometimes without knowing,
You will be deported from that person's mind, heart, or life.

So, people try to be considerate of those they care about,
Not to cross any prohibited borders,
Not to be deported.

But do we really want to live such a terrified life?
Do not we wish to be in the same territory with them,
Or know what the expectations are?
Maybe we can first make those lines visible,
Before attempting to broaden our safe zone,
Before trying to eliminate borders.

Maybe, maybe one day,
The other side lifts some bans too.
Maybe they let us in,
After we took permissions and showed our credentials.
We may be proven trustworthy enough.
Who knows, they may make an exception just for us.

Then little by little,
We push our boundaries,
Expand our horizons,
Live more freely.