تنهایی یا نه؟

این بشر و زندگی‌ چقدر پیچیده هستند. وقتی‌ تنهای تنها هستی‌، سخت‌ترین اتفاقات زندگی‌ رخ میده، به در و دیوار‌ها نگاه میکنی‌ و فکر میکنی‌ کاشکی‌ فقط یک آدم دیگه الان اینجا بود. وقتی‌ دور و برا آدم شلوغه و هزار جور کمک خواسته و نا‌ خواسته دریافت میکنی‌، دلت برای خودت و استقلالت تنگ می‌شه. یکی‌ نیست به آدم بگه چی‌ میخوای؟

فاصله

یک اتاق بود و یک سکوت سنگین. همه با ناباوری به هم نگاه میکردیم. همه یک مرتبه به یک نتیجه رسیده بودیم: بعد از هجده سال، پنج تایی زیر یک سقف بودیم. بعد از هیجده سال، جای هیچ کدوممون پیش هم سبز نبود. همه زیر یک سقف بودیم و دور تر از همیشه از هم.

گل و بلبل

ﺻﺒﺤﺪم ﻣﺮغ ﭼﻤﻦ ﺑﺎ ﮔﻞ ﻧﻮﺧﺎﺳﺘﻪ ﮔﻔﺖ
ﻧﺎز ﻛﻢ ﻛﻦ ﻛﻪ در اﻳﻦ ﺑﺎغ ﺑﺴﻲ ﭼﻮن ﺗﻮ ﺷﻜﻔﺖ
ﮔﻞ ﺑﺨﻨﺪﻳﺪ ﻛﻪ از راﺳﺖ ﻧﺮﻧﺠﻴﻢ وﻟﻲ
ﻫﻴﭻ ﻋﺎﺷﻖ ﺳﺨﻦ ﺳﺨﺖ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻌﺸﻮق نگفت

حافظ شيرازى

و از آن پس گل فهميد كه بلبل عاشق او نبوده، و يا شايد حافظ با اين همه كمالاتش اين رو نفهميده بود؟

هر چـه فرمان تو باشد آن کنـند, به‌ به‌!

با دوستان جمع بودیم و شب شعر بود و شراب و دوستی‌، که تصمیم گرفتیم به حافظ شیراز تفآل کنیم. فالی آامد فالستان، آخه خدا وکیلی از این مخصوص تر فال میشد؟


شاهدان گر دلبری زین سان کنـند
زاهدان را رخنه در ایمان کـنـند
هر کـجا آن شاخ نرگس بشکـفد
گـلرخانـش دیده نرگسدان کنند
ای جوان سروقد گویی بـبر
پیش از آن کز قامتت چوگان کنـند
عاشقان را بر سر خود حکم نیست
هر چـه فرمان تو باشد آن کنـند
پیش چشمم کمتر است از قطره‌ای
این حـکایت‌ها که از طوفان کنـند
یار ما چون گیرد آغاز سـماع
قدسیان بر عرش دست افشان کنند
مردم چشمم به خون آغشتـه شد
در کـجا این ظلم بر انسان کنـند
خوش برآ با غصه‌ای دل کاهـل راز
عیش خوش در بوته هجران کنـند
سر مکـش حافظ ز آه نیم شـب
تا چو صبحت آینه رخشان کـنـند

If I do not play along anymore ....

In an episode of the "House" TV Series, Wilson says to House:

"Cutty is Right. Maybe if I do not play along, you do not try to solve the deeper problem with a surface solution!"

How often do we play along, walking on egg shells, not to hurt a delicate situation or cause any problems for someone we love? Or just to pretend everything is okay when it is not? So often we help others settle for a band aid solution instead of the real cure because it hurts to watch them go through a painful treatment. We let them use us as a carpet to hide their issues under, or even as a scapegoat to blame for the cause of the problem they are facing. Sometimes you have to stay away for them to face the real problem, and think of a real solution that does not include you. Sometimes staying away is the best help one can offer.

Boundaries Affirmations*

Reminder to self on an angry and stressful day:

- I have the right to be who I am and to stand up for myself.
- I deserve to be treated with respect.
- I always have the right to express what I feel and think, so long as I don't tell others what is right for them.
- I accept my right to be imperfect and to do so without feeling guilty.
- No one has the authority to tell me what to feel, what to think, or what to do.
- If I stand up for myself I will have more courage and I will be happier.

* From a training I attended by the founder of www.markasachs.com .

Women of Iran*

It is a peaceful night. The stars and lights make Tehran a beautiful city at night.

Behind the walls of one of these houses, a four year old girl is sleeping. She is dreaming of getting ready to travel with her mother on a bus. Except her mother gets into the bus and she is left behind. She is having a nightmare. Her mother is leaving her. She cries. She wakes up. Her dad is at the bed side. "You had a bad dream", he says. "No, mom left, no it was not a dream". "Mom is here, everything is fine". The fact that her dad is comforting her, not her mom, does not help.

She is in her twenties. She is happy to have found some new friends in the university. She has to hide her social life from her mother. She has to lie to have a normal conversation with a male friend. She is asleep. She dreams they are walking in the park, having a good time. Guards stop them. "How are you related?", they ask. They are being arrested, taken to the jail, for their crime. She wakes up. She is relieved she was dreaming.

In another house, a woman in her fifties is sleeping. She is always scared. She locks all doors, closes all curtains, turns off extra lights. She is having a nightmare. Someone is following her. She tries to walk faster. She plays smart so that her follower give up and leave her alone. She travels a longer path to delay arriving home, so that no one learns where she lives. She arrives home. She unlocks the door. As soon as she thinks she is in, strangers push her inside. She yells loudly. She says things in her sleep. Her daughter hears her, "Mom, wake up! You are having a bad dream"!

These are females of Iran. Appearing calm and pleasant, while being scared and frightened to their bones. They wish for a peaceful sleep.

* I had written this long before June 2009, when uprisings unfolded. Maybe now the whole country wishes for a peaceful sleep.