If you do not stand for yourself, who will?

Yesterday as I was driving to work, I heard a historic and for many life-changing news on the radio. It was a historic day for the United States. It was the end of the "Do not Ask, Do not Tell" era, after 18 years. Now you can ask, and they can tell! For those of you who do not live in the U.S. or may not be familiar with the expression, Do Not Ask Do Not Tell refers to laws on restrictions of gays and lesbians openly serving in the U.S military. Basically, they could serve but they could not openly express their sexuality and if someone in military learned about their homosexuality, they would be banned from serving in the military and lose their jobs. While the law may sound harsh, it was actually a slight improvement to previous ones completely banning them from serving. Now they could serve, they just did not have to speak of their sexuality and no one was supposed to ask anyone about one's sexuality. As long as no one knew, they were fine.

This law put a lot of pressure on homosexuals who wished to build their careers in military. They had to always be careful of what they say, not have pictures of their loved ones and family, not have them in work-related events and ceremonies, not be completely honest. Some lost their jobs just because somebody did tell someone, even though no one asked! Unfortunately, the one who did tell on these people, were not fined even though they were also breaking the law, rather the homosexuals became the victims and paid the price.

The NPR news on this matter included two people's personal stories. One was a young female office, climbing the ladders and making her way up in the military, till one night a colleague saw her in a bar kissing another female. Even though it was outside work, her personal time, even though the colleague did not have to report it, that person was reported, and she got fired. She did not hold grudges and did not decide not to ever look back again, she did not say what the hell with the military, she did not think the person who caused her harm and reported the incident should pay back. She put all her energy advocating for the cause, trying to change the law, raising awareness, etc. so that she could serve openly and legally in the military. She claimed her right to serve and to do the job she loved. Yesterday, she filled an application for a position in military again even though she thinks now after eight years being older and not being physically in shape, she may not pass the physical exams. That would be okay, she said. She knows she did every thing she could to do what she wanted, and she certainly made a difference and proved her point.

The other story belonged to an officer who did not tell and no one told on him either. He could keep quiet and keep his job, but it was killing him. He wanted to do something, to change things. So he wrote his PhD dissertation on this topic and related policies and legislation. He knew writing that dissertation was basically some how looking for a way to break the silence, to tell, to set free. He knew he was risking his position by drawing attention and eventually people learning about his homosexuality. His work helped the cause as well, and now he does not have to carry that burden on his shoulder every single day.

The beautiful thing about these people is that they put their frustration and anger into making positive changes, instead of expecting others who already did no not respect their rights as humans to make those positive changes. Could they expect them to do so anyways? They did not hate the wrong doers nor did they boycott the military or anyone who had anything to do with discriminative laws from those who made the law, passed the law, to those who enforced the law, or even those who took advantage of the law and reported them. They simply recognized a broken system and did everything they could to change it. They claimed their right. They claimed themselves!

Whether you ask or not, whether you tell or not, it does not matter! As it should not!

References:
[1] http://www.npr.org/2011/09/20/140605121/with-repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell-an-era-ends
[2] http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/09/20/140624199/dont-ask-dont-tell-fades-away-media-say
[3] http://www.npr.org/2011/09/20/140644519/dont-ask-dont-tell-ends

A click away

A few clicks,
And a credit card,
That is all it takes.
Then, why does it seem so hard?

Why do you like me?

The question might be wrong to begin with. You either like someone or you do not. But often times you can find reasons for what you feel. Sometimes it is important to us to know when a person claims he likes/loves us, it is for the right reasons, right reasons to us that is. Different people may like the same person for different reasons. I have learned that I feel the best when I am liked because of the qualities I value myself, not necessarily for those qualities that while they are good to have, I do not care much for. And that is today's soul searching discovery folks!

A New Day

One fine day,
The day you thought will never come,
Will finally arrive.

On that day,
You think you can no longer be alone,
You, the master of being alone.

On that day,
You rather spend your time with that someone,
That was never before,
That may never be again.

On that day,
You realize,
A new day has begun!

What I like you to know*

The next time you are going to give your sweetest smile to a girl,
The next time you are going to prepare your romantic speech for the one you don't care,
The next time you want to impress others by your art as an actor, dancer, or achiever,
Think Twice.

Think about all the damage you may cause,
To a simple soul,
To a pure mind,
To a pure heart.

* I was going over my notes in an old notebook of mine that I found this piece. I had written it on January 25, 2002!

قلب كوچك بچه هاى كوچك

قلب كوچكش مثل يك توپ واليبال از اين طرف به آن طرف پاس داده ميشود، زمين ميخورد، پا ميخورد، دوباربلند ميشود، اوج ميگيرد، فكر ميكند هيچ وقت دوباره نمى افتد، و درست در حاليكه سر خوش است آن بالا در اوج، شتلق ميفتد ميشكند. دوباره جمعش ميكنند و شروع به بازى ميكنند. امتياز نگه ميدارند. تنها چيزى كه مهم است امتياز و نتيجه بازى است، برد و باخت است. كسى فكر قلب كوچكش نيست. قلب كوچك بچه هاى كوچك. بچه هاى پاك. بچه هاى بيگناه.

Silence

Sometimes it is not about what you say or hear,
It is about how you share the silence,
How you use the silence,
How you feel the silence.

It can be angry.
It can be stressful.
It can be weird.
It can be awkward.
It can be playful.
It can be uncomfortable.
It can be dishonest.
It can be kind.
It can be compassionate.
It can be understanding.
It can be indifferent.
It can be heavy.
It can be admiring.
It can be belittling.
It can be hateful.
It can be loving.

But sometimes,
Only sometimes,
You find the one,
To share the silence with,
As it deserves to be shared.

Sometimes,
Only sometimes,
There is just silence,
And nothing else,
No fear,
No worry,
No tension,
No excitement,
No games,
No plays,
No fallacy,
Just peaceful honest empowering yet comforting silence.
Without feeling the need to break it,
Or get out of it,
Just wanting to hold on to the silence,
With whom it is being shared.
The rare sacred weightless flawless silence.