If you do not stand for yourself, who will?

Yesterday as I was driving to work, I heard a historic and for many life-changing news on the radio. It was a historic day for the United States. It was the end of the "Do not Ask, Do not Tell" era, after 18 years. Now you can ask, and they can tell! For those of you who do not live in the U.S. or may not be familiar with the expression, Do Not Ask Do Not Tell refers to laws on restrictions of gays and lesbians openly serving in the U.S military. Basically, they could serve but they could not openly express their sexuality and if someone in military learned about their homosexuality, they would be banned from serving in the military and lose their jobs. While the law may sound harsh, it was actually a slight improvement to previous ones completely banning them from serving. Now they could serve, they just did not have to speak of their sexuality and no one was supposed to ask anyone about one's sexuality. As long as no one knew, they were fine.

This law put a lot of pressure on homosexuals who wished to build their careers in military. They had to always be careful of what they say, not have pictures of their loved ones and family, not have them in work-related events and ceremonies, not be completely honest. Some lost their jobs just because somebody did tell someone, even though no one asked! Unfortunately, the one who did tell on these people, were not fined even though they were also breaking the law, rather the homosexuals became the victims and paid the price.

The NPR news on this matter included two people's personal stories. One was a young female office, climbing the ladders and making her way up in the military, till one night a colleague saw her in a bar kissing another female. Even though it was outside work, her personal time, even though the colleague did not have to report it, that person was reported, and she got fired. She did not hold grudges and did not decide not to ever look back again, she did not say what the hell with the military, she did not think the person who caused her harm and reported the incident should pay back. She put all her energy advocating for the cause, trying to change the law, raising awareness, etc. so that she could serve openly and legally in the military. She claimed her right to serve and to do the job she loved. Yesterday, she filled an application for a position in military again even though she thinks now after eight years being older and not being physically in shape, she may not pass the physical exams. That would be okay, she said. She knows she did every thing she could to do what she wanted, and she certainly made a difference and proved her point.

The other story belonged to an officer who did not tell and no one told on him either. He could keep quiet and keep his job, but it was killing him. He wanted to do something, to change things. So he wrote his PhD dissertation on this topic and related policies and legislation. He knew writing that dissertation was basically some how looking for a way to break the silence, to tell, to set free. He knew he was risking his position by drawing attention and eventually people learning about his homosexuality. His work helped the cause as well, and now he does not have to carry that burden on his shoulder every single day.

The beautiful thing about these people is that they put their frustration and anger into making positive changes, instead of expecting others who already did no not respect their rights as humans to make those positive changes. Could they expect them to do so anyways? They did not hate the wrong doers nor did they boycott the military or anyone who had anything to do with discriminative laws from those who made the law, passed the law, to those who enforced the law, or even those who took advantage of the law and reported them. They simply recognized a broken system and did everything they could to change it. They claimed their right. They claimed themselves!

Whether you ask or not, whether you tell or not, it does not matter! As it should not!

References:
[1] http://www.npr.org/2011/09/20/140605121/with-repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell-an-era-ends
[2] http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/09/20/140624199/dont-ask-dont-tell-fades-away-media-say
[3] http://www.npr.org/2011/09/20/140644519/dont-ask-dont-tell-ends