خسيس ترين ها

به نظر من، كسانى كه وقتى از روبروى شما رد ميشن، مخصوصا اگر آشنا باشن، خودشون رو به نديدن ميزنند كه نكنه مجبور بشن يه سلام و عليكى رد و بدل كنند، يا كسانى كه توى يه راهرو نزديك يا جلوى شما راه ميرن، اما سرعت خودشون و يه مرتبه كم ميكنند كه شما جلو بزنيد، نكنه مجبور بشن خداى نكرده در رو براى شما باز كنند، بخيل ترين و خسيس ترين آدمهاى روى كره زمين هستند.

دارنده جواب تمام سوالات!

شاگرد نازنين من آب ميخواد بخوره بهم خبر ميده: من ساعت 2:30-3:30 دارم ميرم فلان تاك. هر يك پيپرى كه پيدا ميكينه ذوق ميكنه بهم خبر ميده،... ديروز يه ددلاين داشتم، يه مرتبه اومد تو آفيس نگران، كه بين فلان روش و فلان روش تو كدومش و ميخواى من انجام بدم، انگار الان دنيا تموم داشت ميشد. خيلى نزديك بود بگم من الان نيم ساعت بيشتر وقت ندارم يه چيزى رو تحويل بدم و بعدن راجع بهش حرف ميزنيم، اما ياد هزار بارى افتادم كه همينجورى خودم ميرفتم دم آفيس استادم، يا ادوايزر سر كارم، و اينكه اونها هميشه درشون باز بود، و هيچ وقت من رو پس نميفرستادن، مگر تعداد بارهاى كم اون هم در طى سالها با هم كار كردن. تازه فهميدم بيچاره ها چه ميكشيدن، به يك آره و نه كه من راضى نميشدم، كلى بحث و گفتگو و حتى درد دل احتياج داشتم. اون وقت تو اين دانشجوى نازنين كه با هزار اميد و آرزو از اون سر آمريكا كوبيده اومده كه همش 10 هفته برات كار كنه رو ميخواى بگى برو بعدن بيا! آخه خجالت هم خوب چيزيه. حالا اگر خود كار نبود و كاميونيكت نميكرد كه ده برابر بايد بيشتر انرژى صرفش ميكردى دختر جان. گوش دادم و يه جواب هيبريدى بهش دادم كه اول رو فلان متد فوكوس كن، بعد اگر وقت داشتى و خواستى اون يكى رو هم انجام بده.... آره، خيلى كمك بزرگى بود، ميدونم! :-)

Please stay with us! We will go anyways !

Tired and exhausted last night I stopped by my local grocery store to buy some usual stuff: milk, bread, fruits,.... As I entered, it was as if I entered a store of a city that was hit by a tornado, or famine. More than half of the shelves were empty, whatever fruits and vegetables that were left, were not of good quality. Maybe they just had a delay in restocking? It was not winter to blame a storm or fear of a storm for empty shelves. Then, I paid more attention. Flower stands were gone, magazine stands were gone, .... it was just so sad. As I went to the cashier I asked: "What is happening?", hoping to hear we are remodeling, renovating, ... not wanting to hear what I heard: "We are closing!". Why? How? I have been coming to this store for seven years at least once a week. I know so many people who work here. I knew where everything was, did not have to search for anything. It is a mile a way from my place. That shopping center had everything I needed: my bank, grocery shopping, Starbucks, insurance company, pizza place, ice cream place, drug store; it used to have Blockbuster too, but I blamed Netflix for their closure; What is Giant's excuse? "Not enough income!" How can that be? All the houses and units in this neighborhood are not enough for them? Where is everybody shopping from? I actually felt betrayed by my community. And how did I not see it coming? There were no signs or announcements or did I just not pay attention?

As I did my last shopping there and came out, I looked behind the store door. There was an announcement. This location closes at 6:00 pm on Thursday. We appreciate your patronage! .... and I thought "Do you?".

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p.s. I had not seen him in a while there. I was actually happy for that. It probably meant that he moved to a desk/in-door job, or was just busy with college. I understood the happiness of Chuckie in Good Will Hunting when he knocked at Will's house and finally got no response one day.

“Chuckie: .... Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks, and a few laughs and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.”

Ammeh :-)

: Ammey?
: baleh?
: Ammey?
: baleh?
: Ammey?
: jaan e Ammeh?
: Ammey?
: baleh? :-)
...
...
...

Jasmine learned and said Ammeh tonight and there is no turning back! :-)

Horrible real stories

Being trusted as a confidant is not always that good. Sometimes you wonder how much you can take in. What else are you going to hear that you have never heard before? How much can humans endure and yet survive? The more you hear, the more you get surprised by this weird creature called human.

I had seen her several times in various dinners and movie nights of our mutual friends. She is usually very silent, and recently she was skipping several events. I thought she had broken up with my friend and was not dating him anymore. Last time she mentioned to me that she has Lyme disease, and that her treatments exhaust her and oftentimes she does not have enough energy to come out. I did not know much about that disease. I asked her for more information. She described how no insurance considers it a legitimate illness and no insurance covers her treatments. How she was a successful engineer in our center and she ended up quitting her job. I felt so sad and sorry for her. Imagine living your life happily and successfully and one nice day, walking out doors, or maybe camping, you get bitten by a tick and your life changes forever. So, that was the extent I got to know her: she was an engineer, originally from Vietnam, who now has Lyme disease.

I saw her again last night. Naturally, I asked her how she was feeling, and how her treatments were going. She told me she is getting ready for a treatment. The fact that doctors think she can now go through it means her body is strong enough to endure it, and that after the treatment she would be better. So, she was happy about that; but the process itself is painful and drains all her energy. The topic of costs and insurance companies came up again. I asked how she has been managing all these years without working.

She mentioned "I had a good job; I was moving up. I was a manager when I quit. I was lucky that I was not the kind of person who has to buy many things or spend so much money to be happy. I had a lot of savings and had bought a house. I had to sell my house to afford treatments. I have been living off of that money. I was so sad when I sold my house. You know for us you work so hard to prove yourself in a new country, being young, a woman, and immigrant all works against you, and to lose all that, I was very sad". She said how she was in bed shaking from illness when she was signing the papers to sell her house, that she could not even move downstairs behind a table or to the agent's office; that she had no friends or family to help her.

Just as I thought I had heard it all, she kept going. You know I had worked very hard for my house; It was my blood and sweat. I was four when I came here. Before that, I was arrested in Vietnam. They put me in prison. They tortured me for information about my parents and relatives but I did not know anything. A four year old kid? I could not believe it. They gave her electric shocks? No .....she kept going. They made boys have sex with their mothers and made her watch it ... it was hard just listening to it. How could a kid go through this? How come she is all of a sudden saying all these things to me? It is as if she had found someone to talk to after so long. "How did you get over all that?", I asked. "With a lot of therapy", she said. She went on how she was here with no parents, and lived with an old aunt that she had to take care of, and she had no one to look after her, and how she was a target for many guys who wanted to take advantage of her. I knew she was very religious too. She said my faith and my sense of humor got me through. I could have become very bitter. No kidding, I was surprised she was not. How could she not? and how could she pray to a God who watched all this happen to her and did not do anything about it? I would be an angry bitter atheist to say the least. Well, I am glad it helped her survive and keep her sanity.

I suggested now that she is not working, maybe she can campaign for Lyme disease so that insurance companies accept its treatment costs. She said she does. She is an activist for that cause. I thought she could write her stories too. It has historic value. You see movies or read books and you think such things belong to many many many years ago, ... and then you get to know someone you thought you knew; It was beyond my wildest dreams hearing her stories. You hear stories of such people struggling with one thing or another all their life and making it through somehow without being angry or bitter to anyone.... and you realize you have no excuse not to enjoy life and all its blessings or to treat anyone unkindly.

Pleasantly surprised!

It is nice to be pleasantly surprised! Not once, but twice, in one day! :-)

امروز ميتونست روز خيلى خوبى باشه.

امروز ميتونست روز خيلى خوبى باشه. خيلى خيلى خوب. ميتونستم با خوشحالى فيلم آخرين فرود اندور رو ببينم. ميتونستم با خوشحالى شاگردم رو كه از سن ديگو اومده كه با من كار كنه، بر دارم، ناهار ببرمش بيرون، با ذوق و شوق از پروژه و كارهايى كه انتظار دارم انجام بده براش حرف بزنم. ميتونستم عصر با شارلت و كوين و ايرين كه تازه عروسى كرده براى تولد شارلت بريم چيز كيك فكتورى شام بخوريم و خوش باشيم. ميتونستم از ذوق گرفتن ايميل فائزه كه خبر داده داره عروسى ميكنه تا يه هفته خوش باشم. ميتونستم شب با دوستام اسكايپ كنم و درباره بقيه كتابى كه ميخونيم حرف بزنيم. امروز خيلى روز خوبى ميتونست باشه. همه اين كارها رو هم قراره بكنم، اما همش ته فكرم اينه كه من از چه جاى تاريكى ميام. جايى كه دختر رو در تاشييع جنازه پدر ميكشند. و اين همه نور و روشنايى و شادى اين طرف دنيا، اصلا يه قطره اش هم اون طرف دنيا نميباره و اونجا رو روشن نميكنه، و اين همه تاريكى اونور دنيا اصلا اين ور دنيا خبر نميشه، كه زنى بعد از نه ماه زندان به هاگ كردن شوهرش با دستبند در دست قناعت ميكنه و لبخند ميزنه. همه اين كارها رو قرار بكنم و بايد همه روز به خودم ياد آورى كنم، تقصير شاگردم نيست، او امروز حق داره روز اول كارى خوبى رو داشته باشه، تقصير شارلت نيست، او امروز حق داره تولد شادى داشته باشه، ...، و من مانده ام كه ديگر كى رغبت ميكنم پا در آن همه تاريكى بگذارم.