Publication etiquette! (or maybe My Life as a Female Engineer 3?!)

Ok, I need some sanity check. Sometimes somethings are such primitive and obvious rules of behavior to me that I get so upset if they are violated, and more if it is perceived that I am over reacting and everyone is cool about it. So, I need your sanity check and point of view.

I have a collaborator. He has been working on a paper based on the work he did when he was a visiting scientist at my institution. He had shown me a draft. I had provided feedback, requests for revisions, more input, and even asked for more experiments and results. He thanked me. Said he will work on them and will keep me posted.

Couple of months pass. He sends me a draft for a different paper for my feedback. It reminds me of the first paper. I ask him about its status. He informs me he has submitted it to a journal and is waiting to hear back the response.

He never sent me the version he submitted with my name on it. I do not even know where something with my name is submitted to. He is a professor and is supposed to teach publication etiquette and culture to his students not to violate them for God's sake! I get upset, very upset. I am trying to draft an email to him as polite as possible and am afraid that I may upset him, and I get upset at myself for feeling this way too. I get even more upset because he had a history of submitting a poor paper to a conference without my knowledge in the past. In that case, I worked long hours before his presentation trying to make it a reasonable version, not to mention getting approval for its publication and release from my employer, and being reprimanded by higher management for my delay and not following rules. I saved the paper before publication and presentation and what happened? He missed his flight, arrived late to his presentation, and the paper was withdrawn. I was happy it was!

Now, this time, he thinks he had done all he had to do by showing me a draft and asking for feedback. Yet, I do not know which journal he sent the paper to, when, and I did not see the final version, and he is using, I would not say my name, I am not such a big shot, but my affiliation. Am I over reacting? How would you handle this guy? He probably even thinks he is doing me a favor, writing papers and including me. How can he feel so comfortable to walk over me? Is he like this with everyone, the result of him being clumsy and easy going, or is it because I am a young female professional who is not being taken seriously?

My Life as a Female Engineer 2

Dr. Chinese Guy received his PhD in astronomy in 2005. He was the student of the mission scientist, Dr. American Lady, that I am currently collaborating with. I received my PhD in computer science in 2007 from the same school he is a researcher at now. There is a new task requiring some computational algorithms that he needs support with. So, our Dr. American Lady naturally thought I could help. In his introductory email to the rest of the team, he says Dr. American Lady and "her student" (referring to me), will work on such and such. An innocent mistake, while making a wrong assumption. After 10 years of experience and more than 4 years of having a PhD, he automatically assumes I am a student. Why? I do not know. We let it go.

We have a first face-to-face meeting. Dr. American Lady introduces me, and asks me to refresh her memory how many years I have been working at the center. I have a feeling she wants to clear the confusion and I was thankful for that. I tell them 10 years! Even she was surprised. She was assuming maybe 5 years. I thought good! Done; moving on.

Today, Dr. Chinese Guy sends an email to west coast collaborators asking for data sets. He again says Dr. American Lady and her student will do such and such!! Dr. American Lady replies all, mentioning my degree and years of experience.

Would any guy experience this with a PhD and 10 years of experience, and if so, will they let it go so kindly? Or is it the case that everyone around those guys has to walk on their tip-toes, making sure they do not forget their "Dr. " titles, and yes sirs?!

My Life as a Female Engineer 1

It is often not what someone says or does, rather a look you receive, a feeling in the span of a few seconds, that will be not respectful. When the young hopeful and arrogant undergraduate summer intern, originally from a country where majority of women are still submissive and second class citizens, from a prestigious school arrives and is introduced to you, a young petite female with a weird name, as his mentor and supervisor, and you see a disappointing look; one that does not trust your knowledge, capabilities, or that you could teach him anything. When day after day, you give him guidance on his assignment, check on him if he has any questions, and you get a simple nod that everything is ok, with a face that says "how could you help anyways". You give him some time to adjust and explore the problem. You are aware that he is not making any progress, and you know he has too much pride to come to you. Yet, you give him the chance by showing up at his desk every few days, to give him the opportunity, "Do you have any questions?", "How did you handle such and such part?", "Here are some good references by the way on this problem". Nods, oks, do not bother me and take my time looks are all you receive.

Till one fine day, he comes to you with a desperate look "there is a bug I have not been able to fix", and you know he has been struggling with it for a long time and has not been able to make any progress, and he had no other choice but to let you know. You go, take a look at his code, locate the lines the compiler is complaing about, and in a minute you see the problem. "You see this line where you declared ... how do you think the compiler interprets this?",..., pause, thinking, responses from him, " and you see how you are using it later here?", a light bulb turns on in his brain and you see his whole face shining. "Did you mean that?", I ask him. No, we both know. He fixes that line, compiles, runs, get the desired outcome, and for the first time you hear him say "Thank you", a heart felt one too, and the look on his face when looking at you is never like before anymore.

You keep going, one day at a time, one brain at a time. So many things have to be earned.