Jeans Dilemma!

When sorting through cloths in an attempt to organize, simplify, and maybe donate some, one is often faced with a tough decision: to keep or not to keep a pair of old Jeans that do not fit anymore. A person often goes through one of the following thought and decision-making processes:

a) It is small for me now, but I am going to fit in it again one day. If I throw it away, I have given up any hope of that. So, I hold on to the small Jeans.

b) It is big for me now, I cannot believe I ever wore this. I have to throw it away to never even have the option of wearing it again.

We make so many other decisions in life, the same way we approach the Jeans dilemma, while the only truth we are certain of is that It just does not fit now!

Planning

Where is this country going? We are suffering from lack of planning and oversight at the highest levels. The senators were trying to pass a historic vote about gays in military. They were confident they will win. They ended up three votes short! Could not they do a survey, ask representatives, to see if they have the votes? Suppose they did. Could not they make sure they all be present when the voting occurred? Especially since they are whining so much about how they do not want to stay for a repeal and re-vote during the holidays? Turns out they lost one vote because one senator was at her dentist's office! A historic vote is not worth rescheduling her appointment, or making sure everyone knows when to show up?

The country is in desperate need of good legislation and reform financially, and their approach: let's make everyone happy, no taxes for anyone, save money for the rich, add to that deficit. We worry about it trillions of dollars deeper in the debt, as long as we can start our holiday season on time. Let's just get out of here!

If you fail to plan, plan to fail.

تهوع

دل هاشون همه از هم پر از درد و كينه است، اما بهترين چهره و ظاهر رو براى هم به نمايش ميذارند، ضيافتى برگزار ميكنند، بهترين فيلم ها رو براى هم بازى ميكنند، كلى از قبل فكر كردند كه چى به كى، كى بگن به زخم زبان، طعنه، كنايه، كه يك چيزى انداخته باشند، بعد نگاه پيروزمندانه اى به طرف ميندازند، انگار از فتح بزرگترين سرزمين ها برگشته اند.  حالت از اين همه دورويى و دروغ بهم ميخوره.  دلت بيشتر از هميشه براى دوستات تنگ ميشه...

What is it?

What is it that attracts us to some people from the first moment we see them, and makes us not like some other before we even talk to them?  Has it ever happened to you?  It has to me.  There are a few very good friends I have now that before I knew their names, before I had spoken even one sentence with them, the first time I saw them in a party, in school, or at work, I knew we were going to be part of each other's lives, because we both wanted to learn more about each other, keep in touch, and be friends.  Then, there are other people who might as well be nice, caring, wise, etc., but you do not feel inclined to invest so much time and energy in having a relationship with them; no matter how hard they try.  You do not know the reason, but based on my past experiences, often times something happens later confirming your initial gut feeling and intuition about that person, both positive and negative.  In fact, it has worked so well for me that I trust my gut feeling and intuition very much.  It has never lied to me.  Or does it lie to us and we unconsciously look for reasons to confirm our beliefs based on our intuition and we ignore other data that disapproves it?

Another example is in dating.  I read somewhere that within the first five to seven seconds of a first date, people have already decided whether they like to see the other person again and go for a second date or not.  That is why these speed dating and four minute dating businesses are flourishing.  If your first impression is negative, during the rest of the date you are acting nice and polite while you do not really want to be there.  How are we humans communicating these perceptions and feelings among ourselves?  Are we sending and receiving some information through some form of invisible signal?  Do we really have such sensors?  Is there a scientific explanation for gut feelings and first impressions? Or is it that we are simply inferring so many things from the way a person dresses, smells, talks, walks, sits, stands, listens, and behaves?

كنسرت آريان

چند هفته پيش كنسرت آريان بود.  با اين اوضاع و احوال ايران و رابطه ايران و امريكا، همين كه با رضايت هر دو كشور  بالاخره رسيده بودند آمريكا، اون هم براى بار اول، خيلى هنر كرده بودند. هر چند كه ميدونستم حد آقل ويزاى يكى از اعضاى بند  به موقع آماده نشده بود و از كنسرت به جا مونده بود.   در هر حال من و دوستام رفتيم كه هم حمايتى كرده باشيم، هم خوش بگذرونيم. 

جو كنسرت خيلى خوب بود.  هم جوون هايى كه از ايران با اين بند خاطره داشتند خوشحال بودند، هم خودشون با شادى و شوق خاصى ميخوندند.  انگار خيلى خوشحال بودند كه آمريكا اومده بودند.  مردم كه ديگه ايران نبودند دست ميزدند، ميرقصيدند، ميخوندند. با وجوديكه گروه خيلى رعايت قوانين ايران رو ميكرد، خواننده اصلى خيلى كيف ميكرد.  از اين ور صحنه به اون طرف ميرفت، دستاشو بالا ميبرد، ميچرخيد و پشت به ما ميكرد، و يك جورهايى ميرقصيد براى خودش.  انرژى سالن خيلى بالا بود، اما تمام نگاه من به نوازندگان و خوانندگان زن بود كه در حجاب اسلامى مثل مجسمه ايستاده بودند.  يكيشون دست به سينه بود.  انگار زور ميزد كه نكنه يك وقت بدون اين كه بفهمه دستاش تكون بخورن.  هر از گاهى دستش رو ميبرد به روسريش كه سفتش كنه و چكش كنه كه نكنه موش پيدا شده  باشه.  من نميدونم توى اين همه صدا و دست و قر چطور بدون هيچ حركتى موندند.  فكر ميكنم از هر شكنجه اى اين كنسرت براشون سخت تر بود، و بايد دانشگاه هاى هنر به اينها يك مدرك افتخارى براى مجسمه شدن و بى حركت موندن بدن.

وسط برنامه خواننده اصلى اعلام كرد كه مدير گروه چند كلمه حرف دارند براى ما.  بعد از سلام و تشكر از حضور ما و غيره ايشون گفتند كه ميخواستند يك سو' تفاهمى رو رفع كنند.  گفت شايعه شده كه از گروه آريان هيچ كس نيومده به جز يك نفر! در حاليكه اين طور نيست،  از گروه آريان همه اومدند به جز يك نفر.  آقاى فلانى كه نيم چك اف-بى-آى اش به موقع جوابش نيومد، كه از كنترل همه ما خارج بود، آقاى فلانى هم كه فلان طور شد!!   يعنى اين آقاى مدير در دو جمله پشت سر هم جلوى بيش از صد نفر دروغ گفت.  فقط يكيشون نيومده بود، خودش راجع به دوتاشون پشت همون جملش حرف زد!  تازه بعدن كاشف به عمل اومد كه يكى از خانم هاى بند هم نبود و اصلا اين آقا اشاره يى نكرد.  در پايان هم گفت كه خواستم اين سو'تفاهم رفع شه براى كنسرت فردا شب در نيويورك (يعنى نكنه ما فروش نكنيم براى اين حرفها).  البته بگم كه چندين عضو اصلى بند بودند و نه فقط يك نفر، اما خب بيشتر از يكيشون هم نبود.

خلاصه به ظاهر من هم با آهنگ ها همراهى ميكردم و شادى ميكردم، اما ته دلم ناراحت بودم.  از اينكه در قلب آمريكا، در پايتخت دنياى آزاد به قول راديو هاى واشنگتن دى سى، پول داده بوديم كه صاف صاف تو چشممون دروغ بگن و ما رو خر فرض كنند، و اين خيلى عادى و راحت باشه براشون، اين كه  شاهد نا برابرى و بى عدالتى نسبت به زنان گروه باشم،  اين كه ياد همه اون چيز هايى بيفتم كه به خاطر فرار ازشون زندگى در اينجا رو برگزيدم.  اون شب من در قلب آمريكا در جمهورى اسلامى به سر بردم و در فرهنگ دروغ و رياى حاكم بر فرهنگ جامعه ايران، هر چند كه اولش با اين نيت رفته بودم كه از گروهى كه با وجود اين همه مانع و سختى به اينجا رسيده حمايت كنم، اما الان نميدونم، آيا اين رفتار رو بايد حمايت كرد يا نه؟

Listen to me; Talk to me.

On a fast fast train,
He talks, talks, and talks,
Not giving silence a chance to exist,
What if he hears what he is afraid of?

In a deep deep valley,
He listens, listens, and listens,
Not allowing any sound of him elevate,
What if he says what he is afraid of?

The cause of all tears*

No one  can get to know it or enjoy it without tears.
You have to take the time,
Cry with it,
One layer at a time,
Moving beyond its surface.
Maybe you learn about the cause of all tears?

Searching for an answer,
You keep peeling,
One layer after another,
Chopping the parts and using them,
Till the last piece,
Till nothing is left,
Except the memory of the tears,
That led you to the nothing point at the end.

Nothing is left,
But the memory of the challenges you overcame,
To see through the tears and keep going,
Just to add a little taste to your life!

* I had seen this phrase in a museum in Brisbane, where they were displaying a dress made of a sack that was used for storing onions.  They had titled it "the cause of all tears".  I liked that title and it had stayed with me ever since.