The Enigma of Survival

There are so many reminders every day about how fragile we human beings are.   When faced with life events, sometimes you wonder how much more as an individual or as a human on this planet can you really take?  We face diseases, car accidents, plane crashes, tsunamis, earthquakes, heartbreaks, loss of lives of dear ones,  volcanoes, oil spills, mine collapses, water leaks, explosions, wars, political turmoils, ..., the list goes on.  What keeps us going despite all this?  How is it even statistically possible for us to live as long as we do, or to be willing to carry on day after day?  I am baffled. As long as we are alive, we almost always seem to get passed different crisis somehow.  I look back at those times in my own life.  As alone as I might have felt during hard times, it must have been really for the people in my life who kept me sane.  Those who were there just to listen, to visit, to simply be there.  Maybe, that is what makes all the difference: being connected to other human beings.  We need to be kind to each other.  We simply won't survive otherwise.

معجزه صبح

سكوت دلنشين صبح كه با آواز گنجشكان روى درختان بهارى شكسته ميشود، نان و پنير و چايى شيرين، تصور اينكه امروز همه چيز امكان پذير است، اميد برخواستن روز بعد و روز هاى بعد را پس از هر شب تاريك و خسته ميدهد.  تا فردايى هست،  همه چيز ممكن هست.

Irony

They have two young kids.  They have been living in the U.S., Bahrain, and Dubai during the last six years due to the husband's job.  He likes seizing new opportunities and living in different countries.  She does not think this is a good way to raise kids.  She does not like her kids to be brought up in Dubai, a business oriented Arab county with little support for the family structure of immigrants, with cultural values that does not match hers.  She is tired of moving every 2-3 years. She wants to settle down, establish a home and grow her kids in one place, maybe close to friends and family or at least in a place she approves of better.  The husband has no intention of wanting to stay in one place.  So, this is it.  She asks for divorce and she gets it.  She moves to Maryland with her two kids and gets a good job.  The husband wanting to see his kids twice a week gets a faculty position in Delaware, only two hours away. He is not moving anymore. He is staying close to his kids with his new wife.
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He does not have a college degree.  He works hard and gets paid hourly.  She has a masters.  She thinks if they want to start a family and have kids, it would be better if he had a formal education and a secure job.  He is encouraged to go back to school.  He does. All of a sudden he sees so many doors opening to him.  Now he wants to go get a PhD wherever he gets admitted.  He does not care if she can come or not.  It is not us anymore, it is what I want to do.  Only if she knew what she was asking for.
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They have been together for three years in Tennessee.  They do not like it there.  They think people there are not receptive to immigrants.  They consider them close-minded.  She is Asian ad he is Persian. They get their PhDs and are very happy to have both found jobs in D.C., a very diverse city where they will be more accepted.  He is now exposed to so many Persian events and gatherings and realizes he wants to have a Persian partner.  I bet she wishes they were in Tennessee now.

صوفى

صوفى جان،

خوش آمدى به دنياى ما.  شنيدم كه خيلى هول بودى. خب آخه حق دارى، حتما بيشتر از اين نميتونستى صبر كنى كه مامان بابات رو ببينى.  يادت باشه بزرگ كه شدى من خيلى اطلاعات ارزشمند در باره مامانت ميتونم بهت بدم!  ;-)

خاله نرگس.

Theory of Love in Practice

"One cannot hold one's love against them", was a quote in a recent movie I saw.
Nor can one hold the very same qualities that you love about someone against that person, I am beginning to find out.  In theory, these make sense.  In practice, they are very hard to implement, if at times not impossible.

TMT: Orientation.

I have a one week intense training coming up in a week.  It is called Technical Management Training (TMT) designed to give an overview of the whole mission/project life cycle at NASA and to prepare future NASA leaders.  It is held twice a year at NASA facility in Wallops Island, VA, where it is famous for its hot summers, mosquitoes, rockets, and balloons.  Last week, we had our orientation.

The agenda is daunting: our days are planned from 8 am to 8:45 pm.  Topics look exciting.  I admire the level of detail at which everything is planned.  We just cannot help it, it is how we get things done. Whether it is a satellite we are launching or a seminar we are organizing, we plan and schedule everything with back up plans for different possible scenarios.  This is mainly why the chaotic life outside work is at times hard.   Our coordinator even reminded us about what types of clothes we need to bring, what will or will not be available in our dorms, that we wear our badges on the bus and not put it in your handbag just so that it does not take too long for us to pass the security check!  I mean how long would it take to take out our badges from our purse/bag?  They have printed car notices so that our cars don't get towed when left on center for a week.  They have printed cafeteria menu of Wallops, reminded everyone if you have religious or dietary restriction that are not taken into account to call the chef, the phone number is there, what should be done if we needed medical care and attention, what if an emergency occurred, etc.  The Director of Engineering attends all sessions every time the course is offered and fills in for any instructor who could not make it last minute: one year a plane could not take off due to fog and it had seven of the course speakers, he filled in for all of them.  I just love the care and attention they give us, the responsibility and honor they feel for serving the organization and educating us.  "Forget about your work and projects.  If you are pressured to make a deadline, let us know.  We will talk to the project manager or your supervisor.  This is important.  You do not want to miss this by checking emails.  It is one week of your life.  You want to learn as much as you can", they kept emphasizing.

Then we went around the room to introduce ourselves.  Everyone is asked to tell something about themselves that others would not know about us if we did not.  I was the first one, so I just said I love going on long walks.  I have three nieces and enjoy spending time with them.  I figured my name and accent always at some point trigger the question of where I am from, so I decided to offer a different piece of information.  Then, I heard introductions of one engineer/scientist after another.  "I have a black belt in Karate", "I love working on cars", "I used to be a professional ballet dancer before becoming a biophysicist!",   "I am living my dream.  Since I was four I wanted to work for NASA.  I could not because I was from Columbia.  When studying engineering in Columbia I was playing soccer professionally.  I was asked to consider playing for the national team professionally.  But I said no, sorry. I want to become an engineer for NASA....  I applied for immigration, got a job as a contractor first, ..., congress had to get involved...now I am here." (the response to which was "we are glad to have you with us"), "I just got married to a Turkish man and I play Guitar" (she is an African-American lady), "I am also a professional middle eastern dancer!",  "I do not look like it, I do not sound like it, but I am Japanese.  My father was in military in Japan when I was born, so I have both U.S. and Japanese citizenship",  "I love the Lord and I direct the music in our church",..., Wow! What an interesting diverse group of people!  I must have sounded so boring to them!

The orientation was over.   I was deep in my thoughts, "it would be a nice week getting to know these people, hear their stories", as I was walking down the hallway towards the exit.   One of my classmates, comes quickly to catch up with me.  "Hi.  I work with Rick X and Dave Y", he says.  I knew the people he mentioned from two different projects and teams.  "I have heard a lot about you.  Between the two of them, I have heard your name a lot", he continues.  "Really?  They talk about me.?", I wondered.   "It is nice to meet you, I will see you in class in a couple of weeks", and we exchanged goodbyes.

I am glad he cared to talk to me.  He cheered me up.  After all, some may look forward to hearing my stories just as much.

Sharing

There is such a joy in sharing that can hardly be expressed.  Sharing your time, your stories, your happiness, your desires, your passions, your dreams.  It is like you want all the wonderful people in your life meet each other, become friends, and see each other through your eyes.  That way, they get to know you better too, and you get just a bit closer than before to all of your friends.  They say sharing is caring. I think sharing is loving.