Saturday, June 12, 2010
What is a person to do? Speak up, keep quiet, or disappear?
A close family member or friend is making a wrong decision, doing the wrong thing, walking on the roof of a very high building and you see s/he is going to fall down shortly unless you stop them. So, you tell them, you warn them, you try to open their eyes. It is clear like day light to you they are going to fall, it is not a matter of opinion or perspective. The response you get is "you are supposed to support me, say keep going, how can I help you walk faster to reach your destination?". But you cannot provide that support. It is wrong, immoral, against your beliefs and principles. You cannot keep quiet either for it would be tacit approval of what they are doing and later you may blame yourself for the consequences. What should one do in this situation? Keep a distance so that you never see that person walking to the edge and falling, or keep talking and have continuous tension and stress and arguments with that person? What is a person to do?
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2 comments:
In general, I would keep my distance without being rude. To me it depends on how wrong your friend/relative is doing? If his/her consequence has an immediate impact on somebody's else feeling then I would warn him/her for sure. Otherwise, I have learned that people, among them myself, have tons of mistakes, big and small, and it's not worth to spend time and energy for something that its result may not be positive. I can see that I am perceived as a selfish man however I justify my opinion on my limited ability for helping people out. Nonetheless, if my friend/relative asks me directly for my advice then that's a different story.
Thanks for the comment. I like your suggestions. The problem was not in one seeking advice, rather full support. A support that you cannot offer. You may have tons of suggestions and advice, but they are not receptive to them, since they were not asking for it to begin with.
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