Anger

Anger is one of those emotions we all experience a lot, but hardly deal with properly, or talk about it. At times we even get angry at ourselves for being angry about something. Our logical brains tell us it is not worth your physical and mental health. Do not ruin your day over things that do not matter. But you cannot help what you feel. You just cannot help it. I have learned if I remind myself of a few things at such times, I may better be able to let go of the anger.

0) It is okay to feel angry at times. We are humans after all. The question is how do we let go of it, before it conquers us and becomes an inseparable part of us. Of course at first some physical activity and sport as well as talking about it can help release the tension. Be careful! It is easy to get trapped in the cycle of thinking and talking about it all the time and remaining angry.

1) By staying angry, I am letting the source of the anger, be it a person or a system, have control over my emotions, my performance, my life, and my health. Do I want to give this much power and control to what hurt me to begin with? Hell no.

2) The more we feed anger, the angrier and unhappier we get. Just stop watering this plant and it will die. This story helps*:

An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life: "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."

3) Look at things from a different perspective. I love the Hubble's Deep Field** image (click on the image below twice). It is taken from a very small portion of the sky. Every circle represents a galaxy like ours with its own planets, moons, and stars. Our earth is not even a dot in this image. How insignificant and small our problems are with respect to the universe, and how ridiculous and stupid we look for thinking they are so important to fight over.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------
* This seems to be a famous story but I first read it on page 157 of this book:
http://www.threelawsofperformance.com/
** For more information see the following links:
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap040309.html
http://www.nasa.gov/vision/universe/starsgalaxies/hubble_UDF.html