After a good night sleep, nice relaxing breakfast, reading emails and blogs, I headed towards the British museum. As I entered the building, its huge size and tall gorgeous ceiling haunted me. There were so many sections: ancient Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Africa, etc. I could spend days visiting this museum. The first part I encountered attracted me immediately. It was about how people in various countries, cultures, and religions deal with hardships.
People everywhere experience trouble, sorrow, need, and sickness and develop skills and knowledge in response to these adversities.
There were pictures of various disasters, natural or man-made, from all over the world through out the years accompanied by nice poems and quotations. Poems were probably not the focus of this museum, but I was most focused on reading those. Here are some of them:
The wind is level now, the earth is wet with dew, the storm of stars in the sky will turn to quiet. And soon all of us will sleep under the earth, we who never let each other sleep above it.
from I know the truth- give up all other truths! by Marina Tsvetayeva, 1892-1941
Pain splinters me. I am cracked like glass. I taste salt, my own fear, can save me nothing.
from In Hospital by Gwen Harwood, 1920-1995
Sometimes things don't go, after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.
(from Sometimes by Sheenagh Pugh, 1950-)
Here is a glass of water from my well.
It tastes of rock and root and earth and rain;
It is the best I have, my only spell,
And it is cold, and better than champagne.
from A Glass of Water by May Sarton, 1912-1995
The Single clenched fist lifted and ready,
Or the open asking hand held out and waiting,
Choose:
For we meet by one or the other.
Choose by Carl Sandburg, 1878-196?
Then, I saw a section on ancient China with so many gorgeous jeweleries made of Jade. They described the two chemical combinations of Jadeitite and Nephrite, and how one is much more expensive than the other. Guess how jewelers identify a real jade from a fake one? The same way in remotes sensing we recognize fire, water, different minerals, vegetation, etc : spectroscopy. They each have their unique spectral signature.
I later went to the Enlightenment era (1680-1820), apparently the age of reason, discovery, and learning that changed the way people viewed the world. This was achieved by observing and studying the natural and man-made world. Did you know the word scientist has been used only in 1900s and had we were living in 1800s I would have been a philosopher? There were minerals collected by a physician called Sir Hans Sloane. He used them as medicine for kidney, skin, cold, poisoning, etc. There is also a museum named after him here. I should learn more about him. There were Parkinson's fossils named after the surgeon who found them and is famous for describing what is called today the Parkinson's disease. However, his fossils had enabled Darwin to identify one type of whale as an extinct species.
The Rosetta stone was there too. So was parts of Persepolis (actual rocks of it) and of Nemrud. There were large statues, gates, reconstructed models, real broken parts, etc. It gave the atmosphere of Persepolis. How on earth did they transport all of these here, and where was the Iranian government? Well, there was also a section on how many Mesopotamian remnants have been destroyed since 2003 as a result of the Iraq war. Maybe it is a good idea to have historical valuables in different parts of the world.
Finally, I stopped by a table where a lady was describing some historical items. She called them prehistoric. She asked us "what does prehistoric mean"? I responded: "before writing started". She was so happy. She asked where I was from. "Welcome! We do not get many visitors from Iran", she said happily. "In places like Iran, writing had started about 7000 years ago, but it arrived in Britain only 3-4 thousands years ago. So, prehistoric means different times for different places", she continued. The items were clays formed for cutting meat, smoking, etc. She was passionate about her stories and did not have a British accent. After she learned I am traveling from Maryland, she happily said "I am from Washington DC.", "Do you miss D.C.?", I asked. "I came here for one summer twenty five years ago, and I never went back. They do not have guns here, no mosquitoes, and they have the health system, not like the nonsense that is happening in the U.S. now. My sister, she has five kids and no health insurance. no health insurance!", she yelled. "How can you not want the public health insurance?!", she wondered. She asked me if I knew of any prehistoric items or sites in Iran. Things that are discovered and are older than the age of writing in Iran. Things that no one had written on them. Well, it showed how poor my history is. I did not know of any such site or object. Do you?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
London, Day 2.
We visited the Regions Park, which was just gorgeous. A Parsee named Jehangir from India had a statue there since he had contributed money to the park in appreciation of what British community did for Parsee community in India (which I am not sure what it was other than colonizing them)! My camera of 4.5 years decided to break on the second day of my trip. We continued getting photos with Laleh's iPhone. I will have to borrow her camera for the rest of my trip. Then we took the train to Soho, a nice looking area with restaurants and coffee shops, fancy department stores, but mainly famous for its exotic sex shops. As we were coming out of the train station, I see a couple lifting their child's stroller to go up the stairs. I look around. There is no escalator, no elevator, no flat section with a slope for carrying wheelchairs and strollers. "How are handicaps supposed to come out of the station?", I asked. "They cannot", Laleh responded.
Laleh was trying to impress me with so many designer and fashion stores. There was a scarf with skulls printed on it for only 265 GBP. "What is this? It is not even beautiful! They are out of their minds!", I said angrily. Jesse, Laleh's boyfriend, made a comment about another expensive item. "Ok, if this store is disturbing people's mental health we should leave", Laleh said jokingly. It was nice being exposed to different aspects of London, but I was not enjoying visiting these shops as much as she did. Well, we have all these expensive designer stores in the States too. Just because I do not live like characters of the Sex and the City, I should not have thought of these stores to be a London phenomenon. It was just depressing seeing all those ridiculously expensive items, maybe because they were a reminder of how hard I had to work to afford an ugly scarf.
A nice lunch and later a very nice cappuccino and baghlava in a coffee shop perfected my Soho experience. As we were sipping our coffees and chatting, we heard a loud noise. A painting behind a customer had dropped! He was so lucky it did not hit his head. Suddenly, everyone in the coffee shop looked back to see if there were a painting behind them. This event started a conversation by Jesse on how nothing works perfectly well here. Windows in Laleh's place drift air so much that the first night it felt like we were just sleeping outside. Jesse also mentioned how he had noticed a hole in size of a Frisbee, where his apartment's fan was in the middle of the windows. He initially had thought they forgot to cover the fan. Later, he was informed it was their solution to the possible hazard of having gas leaks in his place. I regretted the fact that I had just replaced my windows in the U.S. to make them energy efficient and to take advantage of president Obama's tax credit towards their cost. My old windows were like the king of windows compared to these British ones. I wondered how long they run their heaters in their cold winters and how much they are contributing to the global warming because of their bad windows. Not that people in the U.S. do not waste energy in so many other ways.
We took one of those famous red buses towards Chelsea. "Where do you want to visit during your stay?", Jesse asked. "Greenwich!", I said immediately. "She is obsessed with Greenwich. Ever since she has arrived she is asking me how she can get there, how far it is,..., I tell her it is ok, but Soho and other areas are as important to see if not more, there is not much there", Laleh said in an attempt to enlighten me. "I want to go to the Greenwich observatory!", I replied wondering how on earth she does not consider it the place to visit.
We arrived at Chelsea with its million GBP real estates. "You almost have to be embarrassed to drive a Porch here", Jesse said, indicating that would be the cheapest car residents of this region would have. "Arab princes live here, maybe we can find you a prince", Laleh joked. I enjoyed the gorgeous architecture of the buildings with beautiful flowers decorating them.
After a long day, we arrived home. We chatted with Alison, Laleh's flatmate, and Stephan, Alison's boyfriend. Alison is originally from Vancouver, her boyfriend from Switzerland. It is just wonderful meeting young people from all over the world and learning from their experiences.
Laleh was trying to impress me with so many designer and fashion stores. There was a scarf with skulls printed on it for only 265 GBP. "What is this? It is not even beautiful! They are out of their minds!", I said angrily. Jesse, Laleh's boyfriend, made a comment about another expensive item. "Ok, if this store is disturbing people's mental health we should leave", Laleh said jokingly. It was nice being exposed to different aspects of London, but I was not enjoying visiting these shops as much as she did. Well, we have all these expensive designer stores in the States too. Just because I do not live like characters of the Sex and the City, I should not have thought of these stores to be a London phenomenon. It was just depressing seeing all those ridiculously expensive items, maybe because they were a reminder of how hard I had to work to afford an ugly scarf.
A nice lunch and later a very nice cappuccino and baghlava in a coffee shop perfected my Soho experience. As we were sipping our coffees and chatting, we heard a loud noise. A painting behind a customer had dropped! He was so lucky it did not hit his head. Suddenly, everyone in the coffee shop looked back to see if there were a painting behind them. This event started a conversation by Jesse on how nothing works perfectly well here. Windows in Laleh's place drift air so much that the first night it felt like we were just sleeping outside. Jesse also mentioned how he had noticed a hole in size of a Frisbee, where his apartment's fan was in the middle of the windows. He initially had thought they forgot to cover the fan. Later, he was informed it was their solution to the possible hazard of having gas leaks in his place. I regretted the fact that I had just replaced my windows in the U.S. to make them energy efficient and to take advantage of president Obama's tax credit towards their cost. My old windows were like the king of windows compared to these British ones. I wondered how long they run their heaters in their cold winters and how much they are contributing to the global warming because of their bad windows. Not that people in the U.S. do not waste energy in so many other ways.
We took one of those famous red buses towards Chelsea. "Where do you want to visit during your stay?", Jesse asked. "Greenwich!", I said immediately. "She is obsessed with Greenwich. Ever since she has arrived she is asking me how she can get there, how far it is,..., I tell her it is ok, but Soho and other areas are as important to see if not more, there is not much there", Laleh said in an attempt to enlighten me. "I want to go to the Greenwich observatory!", I replied wondering how on earth she does not consider it the place to visit.
We arrived at Chelsea with its million GBP real estates. "You almost have to be embarrassed to drive a Porch here", Jesse said, indicating that would be the cheapest car residents of this region would have. "Arab princes live here, maybe we can find you a prince", Laleh joked. I enjoyed the gorgeous architecture of the buildings with beautiful flowers decorating them.
After a long day, we arrived home. We chatted with Alison, Laleh's flatmate, and Stephan, Alison's boyfriend. Alison is originally from Vancouver, her boyfriend from Switzerland. It is just wonderful meeting young people from all over the world and learning from their experiences.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Trip to UK- Day 1
After so many complications and doubts as to whether I could take my long over due and much needed vacation, I finally made it on the plane before I canceled my trip. As soon as I came out of the train and saw a complete different scene of location and people, all my tensions and problems of the past few weeks were thousands of miles away. I could breath and experience a detached world from miseries back home.
I arrived at London around 6 am local time. There were a few first observations. Escalators are not as common as they are in the U.S. There were not big clocks in the airport to spot the local time quickly. You could see trash bags waiting to be picked up from the streets. After breakfast, and a couple of hours of nap, my cousin and I headed towards the Notting Hill, a place I had seen so many times in movies. We visited the famous book store in the Notting Hill, went to Saturday's Portobello Market, walked in the streets with middle eastern shops, restaurants, etc. The streets were over crowded. I saw a lesbian couple kissing and hugging so affectionately in public. We passed George Orwell's house too.
Food does not seem very expensive so far, but everything else costs 1.5-2 times more than it does in the the U.S. Well, somethings are orders of magnitude more expensive. There was a swim suit which was 75% off, and yet was over 100 GBP. Who would buy a swim suit for that price? I just cannot comprehend it. A simple shirt for 100 GBP. Well, it was a designer store if it helps. The cheapest coat started from 300 GBP!
A friend of my cousin, who I had met before in Australia, joined us too. It felt like we had already been in touch all these years. It was a nice feeling walking in the shops and having lunch and coffee with them. There were so many signs in Arabic, I could not believe it. A middle-eastern bookstore had the historic Al-Kharazmi book on algebra in English and Arabic. I so much wanted to have that book. It was just too expensive, 70 GBP, over $100. Well, the bookstore had sections on Arabian Gulf too. I tried to ignore that and keep the memory of its cool atmosphere. They had a large section of books on Iran, many of them I had not seen before. My cousin picked a book which had translation of Persian poetry of Shamloo and others in English. I looked at the cover. "He is the dean of Persian studies at University of Maryland", I tell my cousin. I think to myself how small my world has become over the years. Thousands of miles away, I see the books of people that not only I know, but meet often and frequently.
I am sitting in the dining room, viewing the beautiful Thames river reflecting the lights over it. The lovely full moon, my loyal companion, is also in the sky. I am thrilled that I will have breakfast with the river's view every day for a short time. I am glad I made it here. I was going literally crazy. When I had originally planned this trip, I was just planning a vacation. Little that I knew what was in store for me shortly before my trip. I had no idea this would turn into a therapeutic trip instead of just a fun one.
I arrived at London around 6 am local time. There were a few first observations. Escalators are not as common as they are in the U.S. There were not big clocks in the airport to spot the local time quickly. You could see trash bags waiting to be picked up from the streets. After breakfast, and a couple of hours of nap, my cousin and I headed towards the Notting Hill, a place I had seen so many times in movies. We visited the famous book store in the Notting Hill, went to Saturday's Portobello Market, walked in the streets with middle eastern shops, restaurants, etc. The streets were over crowded. I saw a lesbian couple kissing and hugging so affectionately in public. We passed George Orwell's house too.
Food does not seem very expensive so far, but everything else costs 1.5-2 times more than it does in the the U.S. Well, somethings are orders of magnitude more expensive. There was a swim suit which was 75% off, and yet was over 100 GBP. Who would buy a swim suit for that price? I just cannot comprehend it. A simple shirt for 100 GBP. Well, it was a designer store if it helps. The cheapest coat started from 300 GBP!
A friend of my cousin, who I had met before in Australia, joined us too. It felt like we had already been in touch all these years. It was a nice feeling walking in the shops and having lunch and coffee with them. There were so many signs in Arabic, I could not believe it. A middle-eastern bookstore had the historic Al-Kharazmi book on algebra in English and Arabic. I so much wanted to have that book. It was just too expensive, 70 GBP, over $100. Well, the bookstore had sections on Arabian Gulf too. I tried to ignore that and keep the memory of its cool atmosphere. They had a large section of books on Iran, many of them I had not seen before. My cousin picked a book which had translation of Persian poetry of Shamloo and others in English. I looked at the cover. "He is the dean of Persian studies at University of Maryland", I tell my cousin. I think to myself how small my world has become over the years. Thousands of miles away, I see the books of people that not only I know, but meet often and frequently.
I am sitting in the dining room, viewing the beautiful Thames river reflecting the lights over it. The lovely full moon, my loyal companion, is also in the sky. I am thrilled that I will have breakfast with the river's view every day for a short time. I am glad I made it here. I was going literally crazy. When I had originally planned this trip, I was just planning a vacation. Little that I knew what was in store for me shortly before my trip. I had no idea this would turn into a therapeutic trip instead of just a fun one.
Monday, September 28, 2009
زندانی
ویزای همه کشورهای دنیا رو هم که داشته باشی، بچه هم که نداشته باشی، مستقل هم که باشی، مجرد هم که باشی، وقتی شرایط و افراد دیگر کنترل زندگیت رو در دست دارند، اسیر و زندانی هستی.
بهشت آنجاست که آزاری نباشد،
کسی را با کسی کاری نباشد.
بهشت آنجاست که آزاری نباشد،
کسی را با کسی کاری نباشد.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Possessive and Insecure
I was walking in a new neighborhood. I was trying to locate an address. I spent few minutes and failed. So, I thought I would ask a passer by. I see a couple approaching me. The guy notices me first, so I start talking to him: "excuse me". The woman jumps in front of him quickly, and starts talking to me. She gave me directions. I could not help thinking about how protective of her partner she was, and how rude her body language was. As if I was going to steal her partner, pick him up, and take him with me right there in the street.
-----------------------
I was at a conference. It was the first round table lunch. A young lady sat next to me. Like all conferences, we exchanged greetings, information about our institutes, research areas, etc. First I was happy that a successful professional was so kindly getting to know me. After all, maybe we became good friends. Then, I noticed she was interested in learning about me at a more personal level: how many years I have been in the states, if I had family here, where I did my under graduate studies, etc. A few minutes passed, and I felt this did not sound like my typical first conversations at conferences when meeting new people. Then she asked a question indicating she knew I was originally from Iran. I paused. "I never told you I was from Iran, how come you asked this?", I wondered. "I saw you yesterday talking to my Iranian friends in Farsi", she said. It all came together. She had noticed me before I had even met her. She made it her mission to come sit next to me for lunch to figure out all about me. After all, who was I shaking hands and introducing myself to a guy I had met for the first time in my life, who she happened to like so much?
She continued being sensitive to me during the rest of the conference, and it was getting on my nerves. My sole existence bothered her. She tried her best to be nice. I never saw anyone happier when saying goodbye to me. "You are leaving?", she asked happily. Did she think I planned on moving to a new city just because of a conference? Did not she realize we were all passengers who had to co-exist in the same place just for a few days?
-----------------------
I understand they are sensitive. I understand they may be in love. I understand jealousy is a natural feeling. What I do not understand is what gives them the right to offend me, to hurt me, the very first time they meet me in their lives, before they even know my name, to treat me as if I have no moral values, no principles. I felt sorry for them: They were trying so hard to protect something they did not have.
-----------------------
I was at a conference. It was the first round table lunch. A young lady sat next to me. Like all conferences, we exchanged greetings, information about our institutes, research areas, etc. First I was happy that a successful professional was so kindly getting to know me. After all, maybe we became good friends. Then, I noticed she was interested in learning about me at a more personal level: how many years I have been in the states, if I had family here, where I did my under graduate studies, etc. A few minutes passed, and I felt this did not sound like my typical first conversations at conferences when meeting new people. Then she asked a question indicating she knew I was originally from Iran. I paused. "I never told you I was from Iran, how come you asked this?", I wondered. "I saw you yesterday talking to my Iranian friends in Farsi", she said. It all came together. She had noticed me before I had even met her. She made it her mission to come sit next to me for lunch to figure out all about me. After all, who was I shaking hands and introducing myself to a guy I had met for the first time in my life, who she happened to like so much?
She continued being sensitive to me during the rest of the conference, and it was getting on my nerves. My sole existence bothered her. She tried her best to be nice. I never saw anyone happier when saying goodbye to me. "You are leaving?", she asked happily. Did she think I planned on moving to a new city just because of a conference? Did not she realize we were all passengers who had to co-exist in the same place just for a few days?
-----------------------
I understand they are sensitive. I understand they may be in love. I understand jealousy is a natural feeling. What I do not understand is what gives them the right to offend me, to hurt me, the very first time they meet me in their lives, before they even know my name, to treat me as if I have no moral values, no principles. I felt sorry for them: They were trying so hard to protect something they did not have.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Priceless Moments
Sleepover.
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?".
Victoria: "Do you have a flash light?"
Me: "Yes, why?"
Victoria: "We can play flash light tag, and tell spooky stories at night".
Me: "Spooky stories chie? We will have a pillow fight!".
Natalie, Victoria: "Yeaahhhh!".
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess!?"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can we have pillow fight now?"
Me: "We will have it when we sleep".
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can we sleep now?"
Me: "I am not ready yet, it is early"
Natalie: "But we are ready ...".
----------------------------------------
Trying to fall sleep:
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Victoria: "Can we have toast and Nutella for breakfast tomorrow?"
Me: "Yes".
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Victoria: "I love you".
Me: "I love you too honey".
----------------------------------------
In the morning....
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Victoria: "I am hungry".
Me: "Ok, we will have breakfast soon".
Victoria: "What time is breakfast?"
Me after looking at the clock, God it is just 7:35 am on a Sunday: "8 o'clock".
-------------------------------------------------------
At breakfast table:
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess!?"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "I miss you".
Me: "I am right here honey, in front of you!".
Natalie: "Excuse me one moment, I will be right back".
She goes to the other room, where I could not see her.
She called: "Aunt Nargess!?".
Me: "Yes!?"
Natalie: "I miss you!"
------------------------------------------------------
After breakfast:
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can we go to the park together?"
Me: "Yes".
I thought for a bit and continued:
"But you have to play with each other, I cannot run around and play with you".
Natalie frowned, and went to the study:
"We are not coming out until you say you will play with us!".
I continued checking emails and using the silence.
Natalie opens the door: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can you please say that because we really want to come out".
-------------------------------------------------------
After the park, the kids were watching cartoons, I had the computer on my lap, and Victoria is sitting behind me on the coach, acting as a hair dresser and playing with my hair.
Victoria: "aunt Nargess! You have a white hair!".
Natalie: "Victoria, she is too young to have white hair!".
"Well, she does.", Victoria responded as she pulled out that strand of hair as evidence and held it in the air.
Me: "Yes honey, I do. Thanks for pointing that out."
-------------------------------------------------------
The next day, I open my drawer to take out a shirt. There is a letter on top:
"Dear Aunt Nargess,
.... I miss you with all my heart. .... eat healthy.
I love you. I'll be thinking of you.
Love, Natalie."
... and I start the day with a smile, not knowing how on earth I deserve this.
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?".
Victoria: "Do you have a flash light?"
Me: "Yes, why?"
Victoria: "We can play flash light tag, and tell spooky stories at night".
Me: "Spooky stories chie? We will have a pillow fight!".
Natalie, Victoria: "Yeaahhhh!".
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess!?"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can we have pillow fight now?"
Me: "We will have it when we sleep".
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can we sleep now?"
Me: "I am not ready yet, it is early"
Natalie: "But we are ready ...".
----------------------------------------
Trying to fall sleep:
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Victoria: "Can we have toast and Nutella for breakfast tomorrow?"
Me: "Yes".
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Victoria: "I love you".
Me: "I love you too honey".
----------------------------------------
In the morning....
Victoria: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Victoria: "I am hungry".
Me: "Ok, we will have breakfast soon".
Victoria: "What time is breakfast?"
Me after looking at the clock, God it is just 7:35 am on a Sunday: "8 o'clock".
-------------------------------------------------------
At breakfast table:
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess!?"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "I miss you".
Me: "I am right here honey, in front of you!".
Natalie: "Excuse me one moment, I will be right back".
She goes to the other room, where I could not see her.
She called: "Aunt Nargess!?".
Me: "Yes!?"
Natalie: "I miss you!"
------------------------------------------------------
After breakfast:
Natalie: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can we go to the park together?"
Me: "Yes".
I thought for a bit and continued:
"But you have to play with each other, I cannot run around and play with you".
Natalie frowned, and went to the study:
"We are not coming out until you say you will play with us!".
I continued checking emails and using the silence.
Natalie opens the door: "Aunt Nargess?!"
Me: "Yes?"
Natalie: "Can you please say that because we really want to come out".
-------------------------------------------------------
After the park, the kids were watching cartoons, I had the computer on my lap, and Victoria is sitting behind me on the coach, acting as a hair dresser and playing with my hair.
Victoria: "aunt Nargess! You have a white hair!".
Natalie: "Victoria, she is too young to have white hair!".
"Well, she does.", Victoria responded as she pulled out that strand of hair as evidence and held it in the air.
Me: "Yes honey, I do. Thanks for pointing that out."
-------------------------------------------------------
The next day, I open my drawer to take out a shirt. There is a letter on top:
"Dear Aunt Nargess,
.... I miss you with all my heart. .... eat healthy.
I love you. I'll be thinking of you.
Love, Natalie."
... and I start the day with a smile, not knowing how on earth I deserve this.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Met Expectations*
I had the office to myself for three weeks. I enjoyed the peace and managed to do a lot. My officemate was back from his vacation just in time for the football season. I sure did not look forward to the guys' discussion on their fantasy football brackets and analysis of games before and after lunch time.
It was his first day back, after lunch time. He came back to the office, with some of the other guys following him. I was used to this by now. They would talk a few minutes to end a discussion, or just to linger their fun time. I thought naturally they had more to talk about, catching up for the three weeks. However, I could see my officemate was trying to get rid of his friend, while they were both laughing. "Where is it? Is it here?", the other guy asked. "There is nothing here, I promise you", my officemate repeated while laughing. I entered the game of giving my officemate a hard time "what are you looking for, maybe I know where it is". Finally, my officemate could get rid of the annoying colleagues. A few minutes passed and we were working in silence.
He broke the silence: "I wanted to tell you first this morning, but you left for a meeting". It sounded serious. "I proposed when I was in India", he said. "Congratulations!", I said with a smile. I was surprised I was not surprised! I think I surprised him too. I had seen so many of my Indian friends going to India and coming back with a wife that deep down I knew one time he comes back from India he will have such an announcement. Apparently, he had surprised himself too. It was not an arranged marriage like most cases, but traditional for sure.
He had met this girl in a party, really liked her, kept talking to her during his stay, and he felt he will be losing something if he did not try his chance. He said "I had to ask her, if she said no, I knew at least I tried, but she said Yes!". Here I was, listening to this colleague and friend of over seven years, telling me he is getting married to a girl he met three weeks ago for the first time in his life. He had also got the parents' approval and had some sort of ceremony indicating they are now together. "The time difference is the worst part, I can call her at night, but I do not want to wake her up early in the morning", he continued. "Call her before coming to work", I suggested. "But when I wake up, I just want to get out and come to work, I do not feel like talking in the morning", he said. "You know, she is going to be there every morning", I said. He held his head with both hand "Oh, no, do not remind me", we were both laughing. "You have no idea what you have done, do you?", I asked jokingly. "No, I have no idea what I have done", he admitted as he was laughing. "And then there are all these emails coming, I think they want to know the date of the wedding to start planning for the party, and I am like, I do not know, I just proposed." I knew his real problem. He did not know how to handle all those emails from the girl and her parents and relatives. He is not good with emails even for work. He prefers meetings or phone calls. When he has to respond to the management, he has a hard time coming up with sentences. He often first writes one or two lines, asks me to read it over just to tell him if it would be appropriate or not, or to suggest how to edit it. I continued: "tell them I do not like emails, and I do not feel like talking on the phone in the mornings, see you in six months at the wedding", as we were both giggling. We even went over a related sitcom's episode, as we usually do about any event from printer jams to memos in our office. "This is so much fun", I could hardly stop laughing. "Wait, your time will come too!", he responded. And that is how we celebrated a new beginning in our office.
* Our performance appraisal has different categories including "fails to meet expectations","meets expectations", "meets and exceeds expectations", etc.
It was his first day back, after lunch time. He came back to the office, with some of the other guys following him. I was used to this by now. They would talk a few minutes to end a discussion, or just to linger their fun time. I thought naturally they had more to talk about, catching up for the three weeks. However, I could see my officemate was trying to get rid of his friend, while they were both laughing. "Where is it? Is it here?", the other guy asked. "There is nothing here, I promise you", my officemate repeated while laughing. I entered the game of giving my officemate a hard time "what are you looking for, maybe I know where it is". Finally, my officemate could get rid of the annoying colleagues. A few minutes passed and we were working in silence.
He broke the silence: "I wanted to tell you first this morning, but you left for a meeting". It sounded serious. "I proposed when I was in India", he said. "Congratulations!", I said with a smile. I was surprised I was not surprised! I think I surprised him too. I had seen so many of my Indian friends going to India and coming back with a wife that deep down I knew one time he comes back from India he will have such an announcement. Apparently, he had surprised himself too. It was not an arranged marriage like most cases, but traditional for sure.
He had met this girl in a party, really liked her, kept talking to her during his stay, and he felt he will be losing something if he did not try his chance. He said "I had to ask her, if she said no, I knew at least I tried, but she said Yes!". Here I was, listening to this colleague and friend of over seven years, telling me he is getting married to a girl he met three weeks ago for the first time in his life. He had also got the parents' approval and had some sort of ceremony indicating they are now together. "The time difference is the worst part, I can call her at night, but I do not want to wake her up early in the morning", he continued. "Call her before coming to work", I suggested. "But when I wake up, I just want to get out and come to work, I do not feel like talking in the morning", he said. "You know, she is going to be there every morning", I said. He held his head with both hand "Oh, no, do not remind me", we were both laughing. "You have no idea what you have done, do you?", I asked jokingly. "No, I have no idea what I have done", he admitted as he was laughing. "And then there are all these emails coming, I think they want to know the date of the wedding to start planning for the party, and I am like, I do not know, I just proposed." I knew his real problem. He did not know how to handle all those emails from the girl and her parents and relatives. He is not good with emails even for work. He prefers meetings or phone calls. When he has to respond to the management, he has a hard time coming up with sentences. He often first writes one or two lines, asks me to read it over just to tell him if it would be appropriate or not, or to suggest how to edit it. I continued: "tell them I do not like emails, and I do not feel like talking on the phone in the mornings, see you in six months at the wedding", as we were both giggling. We even went over a related sitcom's episode, as we usually do about any event from printer jams to memos in our office. "This is so much fun", I could hardly stop laughing. "Wait, your time will come too!", he responded. And that is how we celebrated a new beginning in our office.
* Our performance appraisal has different categories including "fails to meet expectations","meets expectations", "meets and exceeds expectations", etc.
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