Problems

He talked and talked, and I listened.  The only acceptable response to him is validating that he is right; Supporting that he should keep going and do all the destructive things he has been doing.  I cannot do that.  When offering alternative points of view or suggestions, he gets offended: offering suggestions when I did not ask for your opinion is offensive.  Offering different point of views and slightest signs of disagreement makes him explode with frustration.  So, I silently listened; Wait it out for him to finish.  Maybe he feels relieved.  Maybe he gets tired of listening to himself saying the same old things over and over.   At least it was peaceful.  I just listened.

Then after some time, he realized I have been a good listener.  He wanted to act caring:  what problems do you have in your life? I went silent again, thinking.  Honestly, I like my life.  I like to be able to do what I do every day peacefully.  I enjoy my cup of tea in the morning, driving to work, working, my friends and relationship.  I like all the simple ordinary things in my life.  He asked again: you have no problems?  I thought of a future goal that I have not achieved yet.  I still do not have X, I said.  We talked a little about what having X meant and he offered some of his thoughts, some of which were insulting me, but I yet listened.

Later after he left, I thought to myself, why did not I tell him you are my biggest, maybe the only, problem in life?  You cause me so much pain and stress.  You are it.  Part of it was probably me not wanting to hurt him more, my tendency to please.  Then, I realized, by saying that to him, I would have been taking ownership of his problems.  My subconscious did not want to acknowledge and approve him as my problem.  Yes, an adult, who is thirteen years older than me, is not my problem nor my responsibility.  I should remind myself more of that, and not feel guilty for not making him and his problems, mine.  I have to work hard on keeping it that way: not making him my problem.